Why ride a motorcycle? Our top 5 excuses.

Sometimes you just need an excuse to get on your motorbike and ride, but we’ve recognised that this excuse doesn’t always come easy, and with people at home in need of your attention or other responsibilities getting in the way, you need a ‘cheat sheet’ of reasons to get out on 2 wheels and riding the roads!

#1 – We’ve run out of milk

This excuse is perhaps the best one of them all, because everyone needs milk, and even if you have milk, you also have a sink with which to dispose of it. If you opt for the latter option, make sure that you don’t pour it completely away – makes sure to leave a little bit in, so that when you show your co-habitants you can shake the dregs to make it looks even more genuine. This way, not only do you get to ride your bike, but you also become the hero, the saviour, the bringer or vital milk needed for cereal and tea. Up holder of the great British institution of infusing boiling water with leaves and adding nutritious milk, salute yourself (and have a cuppa on your return)

#2 – I’m off to the gym

This excuse is even better when you don’t have a gym membership, because you can throw some gym kit in a bag and ride for as long as you would have been in a gym, stop by a lake or other water filled location and get your gym clothes a bit damp, and return victorious and healthy looking. Make sure to actually take some gym kit with you or this excuse looks a little suspect.

#3 – I have to help [INSERT NAME] with [INSERT ACTIVITY]
 

Nothing makes a man or woman nobler than the selfless giving of help to a friend / relative in need. Nothing that is, except riding your motorbike in the name of being noble, but actually just plain lying about having to help someone. You can choose any name and any activity for this one, but inserting a sense of urgency or time-sensitivity to the activity will help pull this one off. Lastly, ensure your alibi is solid, and offer to buy them a drink to compensate for the ruse.

#4 – I’ve got a headache

Moving into the realms of less believable now, but there is rock solid scientific evidence that says riding a motorbike will cure a headache*. This one is easy to pull off, however. Simply act cranky, keep touching your head and wincing, and then declare in no uncertain terms that you have a headache and you must ride your motorbike. If interrogated, mention how the helmet activates secret pressure points on your head that were first discovered by Tibetan monks hundreds of years ago, and a half hour ride will eradicate any headache. Another free ride well earned.

#5 – You have to save the world

At the bottom of the bottle lies sheer desperation, and this is when you pull out this excuse. Although it’s been tried by many, only a select few have managed to make it stick. Don’t claim any secret powers, but state in a confident and urgent tone that the world will surely end if you do not get on your bike and do what is asked of you by the powers that be. If you don’t make it stick, however, you may end up looking a tad off your rocker. Not for the faint hearted, but those who succeed enter a very exclusive club. Superhero suit optional.

Do you have any more excuses? Let us know in a comment below!

* no such evidence exists

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